An Open Love Letter For Her, For The One That Got Away…
This Valentine’s day I have no date. It’s okay. I don’t care. However, I can’t stop thinking. My date must have been you if only the circumstances allowed it. The sad part is that you’re no longer my girl.
You’re nowhere to be found now. I don’t even know where you are, how you are doing or if you’re already dating somebody. Maybe some other boy is making you happy these days. I don’t know. You must have forgotten about me. Or even forgot to care about me at all. About the old us.
I can’t blame you, though. It was all my fault anyway. I was too busy doing my thing. I was not caring enough. I focused a lot on your negative side. I grew tired of our unhappy relationship. I had taken you for granted big time. I was such a loser boyfriend and the sad part is that, I knew all along that it was hurting you.
I know it took a lot of courage for you to turn your back and leave everything behind. Not to mention, lots of tears. Back then, you knew I was deserving it. To be left alone, to be deserted after everything I did. The funny thing is, I was oblivious to the fact that you can actually go and leave.
Anyway I must admit, it was a temporary relief for me when you left. You won’t believe that, would you? I was such an asshole.
They said that you’ll never know what you’re missing until it’s gone. It’s painful to actually learn that. Now I feel really sorry. I remember those days when we struggled hard to keep the relationship happy because we knew that it was worth fighting for. We even had an agreement to always talk it out when there were matters that need to be fixed for our romance to stay afloat. There were happy days. There were sweet days. Probably, one of the best days in my life.
We didn’t believe there was an end to this. That was the farthest thing in our mind, right? But then the truth set in. Too bad, good things don’t last forever. It always had to end. I knew it was both heartbreaking for us to see that our relationship was crumbling down, going to a sad end. But for some reason, we were too tired to stand up for it and pick up the pieces to begin anew.
In the end, we were both cold and apathetic. We laid down our cards and call it quits. The flame was put out. Just like that. Simple and easy. Just like every other love story ever told in real life. It was unbelievable. It ended.
Now I feel miserable without you. I never knew I would say something like this. Blame this sick Valentine season. Blame me. Crucify me right now! I let you go just like that. I messed with that great love offering of yours. I can’t believe I let you down so badly with the mere thought that I was head over heels in love with you during the early days of our 2-year relationship. How could I?
Now I’m thinking clear. Now I realize your worth. Too freaking late. I should have not bothered myself much with your moodswings, your nagging, your negativities and complaining. You’re not so bad after all. It’s actually me, it is all me. I’m sorry I could not say this in front of your face before. You’re actually one of the best I ever had, no kidding. In fact, you were the only one who had a good grasp of the distorted reality I believe in.
Anyhow, I was just plain stupid, self-righteous and conceited. I could only smile in disbelief thinking what a great girl I’d just lost for another guy. I’m pulling my hair off for being so stupid. I’m a sad incomplete boy now. You could have been my wife (and I don’t care if you would think otherwise, I would woo you to be one if ever I had the second chance). All those daydreaming we had about raising a family and having kids, getting our dreamhouse, and being happy together. And remember that oath we had that we will always find time for each other every weekends despite how busy we are as a businessman and a medical practitioner. We could have made them all come true. If only we had survived all this bf/gf trial stage and became an awesomely happy married couple. What could have been?
Now I’m gonna daydream alone. IF ONLY I DIDN’T WASTE YOUR LOVE. There’s no way that you’re coming back, I know that. I can never have you now. I deserve it.
Lucky is that dude who makes you smile now. To whom you offer your love with little to no conditions. That dude who’s now the recepient of your sweet smile and warm kisses. I hope that you find the right guy this time. I hope that he is nothing like me. I hope that he will not hurt you. I mean, ever. You deserve the best after all what you’ve been through with me. You deserve the best damn good karma, you know.
I’m sorry for being just a mediocre lover. Who had the chance to be loved with the best kind of lovin’ by a great girl. But I just wasted it, let it went down the drain. I’m wishing hard that this could change me forever. So I won’t hurt the next girl I know heaven would still send me the next time around. Despite how flawed I am. That’s why I’m staying single for a while and date-less this Valentine’s. I don’t deserve to be in the company of a nice girl right now.
Nevertheless, I wanna say thank you for all the goodness you showed me. Thank you for that genuine love you shared me. I’m sorry I didn’t take care of it. I’m sorry I let you get away. I’m learning the hard way now, until God knows when.
PS: I’m sorry to burst your bubbles, but this is only fiction. But obviously with a nice #hugot factor from the author. Hope this love letter for her, for the one that got away, will be able to inspire struggling couples out there to reflect over their relationship and avoid the big heartbreak. And somehow, stay happily in love with each other for the longest time possible. Happy Valentine’s day everyone!